Dank Memes

My friend is obsessed with dank memes
there are worse things          compulsive
computer solitaire     or minesweeper   which I got
pretty good at      19 and depressed
in my brother’s rented cottage            on
the Studebaker Estate     in South Bend
He asked me what he should select from the BMG
Direct Music Club       I pointed at Ween’s Pure Guava
he listened to it     once              said “uh, you can have that”
but my friend obsessed with dank memes speaks of nothing
but dank memes     he breathes in dank memes
exhales dank memes       escorts dank memes to the bathroom
comes out having multiplied his dank memes
he even ignores the television in favor of the dank memes
on his phone     when he comes over here
he shoves them in our faces     and laughs his jolly laugh
even though most of the dank memes     aren’t that funny
and when he talks        he talks about dank memes
never bothering to ask      The Lord of the Manor
how his life might be     so I’ve stopped laughing politely
because I don’t care about his feelings any more    or the feelings
of my other friend who brags about the ease with which he scores
first dates      they whine about their lives when not talking about
dank memes       they never let me get a word in edgewise
or acknowledge my abiding malaise   which must be too subtle
for them to detect   while they inexhaustibly catalogue their dating lives
or troubles with their exes     who they never compare to mine
she killed herself, and they don’t like being trumped
mostly I try to find common ground of some sort
doing all the work of the conversation      as usual
because I hate you guys    you suck    and what would I do
with myself      if you never     came over?







Steve Henn is the author of Indiana Noble Sad Man of the Year (Wolfson Press, 2017). He teaches high school English and dads it up. His heroes include Kurt Vonnegut, Bob Hicok, and Jack Musgrave.


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