My friend is obsessed with dank memes
there are worse things compulsive
computer solitaire or minesweeper which I got
pretty good at 19 and depressed
in my brother’s rented cottage on
the Studebaker Estate in South Bend
He asked me what he should select from the BMG
Direct Music Club I pointed at Ween’s Pure Guava
he listened to it once said “uh, you can have that”
but my friend obsessed with dank memes speaks of nothing
but dank memes he breathes in dank memes
exhales dank memes escorts dank memes to the bathroom
comes out having multiplied his dank memes
he even ignores the television in favor of the dank memes
on his phone when he comes over here
he shoves them in our faces and laughs his jolly laugh
even though most of the dank memes aren’t that funny
and when he talks he talks about dank memes
never bothering to ask The Lord of the Manor
how his life might be so I’ve stopped laughing politely
because I don’t care about his feelings any more or the feelings
of my other friend who brags about the ease with which he scores
first dates they whine about their lives when not talking about
dank memes they never let me get a word in edgewise
or acknowledge my abiding malaise which must be too subtle
for them to detect while they inexhaustibly catalogue their dating lives
or troubles with their exes who they never compare to mine
she killed herself, and they don’t like being trumped
mostly I try to find common ground of some sort
doing all the work of the conversation as usual
because I hate you guys you suck and what would I do
with myself if you never came over?
Steve Henn is the author of Indiana Noble Sad Man of the Year (Wolfson Press, 2017). He teaches high school English and dads it up. His heroes include Kurt Vonnegut, Bob Hicok, and Jack Musgrave.