Maybe I am Tony Soprano

Pleading with Big Pussy

to not betray me though

I have been betrayed before

by so many men with so many

problems and maybe I am just

a little bit insecure.

My robe falling off me as I wade

into the swimming pool with water

birds and maybe I am a little bit in love

with Christopher and Paulie

and maybe I too wear my tracksuits

on days I need to feel the texture

of velour and maybe I just need

to tell my therapist about

the long line of dangerous men

that came before me

like the spaghetti that needs

to be thrown against a wall

to know when it is done,

my grandmother’s hair sticking

to brown tile, wet and golden.

I am back in the pool

and there is nothing you can say

to make these birds fly again.

Luisa Muradyan is originally from Ukraine and received her PhD in Creative Writing and Literature from the University of Houston. She is the author of American Radiance (Univ of Nebraska Press), which won the 2017 Prairie Schooner Book Prize. She is also a member of the Cheburashka Collective, a group of women and non-binary authors from the former Soviet Union. Additional poems can be found at the Threepenny ReviewCopper Nickel, the Missouri Review and Poetry London among others. 

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